If Shigure and Miroku met
by SoumaRioChan
Summary: Think of all the choas I can make of this! If two pervs met... Animes so far, Fruits Basket, Inu Yasha, Sailor Moon, Pokemon, Digimon, Dragonball Z, and more
1. Chapter One

Disclaimer: Kon'ni! Kon'ni! Kon'ni! I do not own any of these characters!  
  
~Chapter One: If Shigure met Miroku!~  
  
Washu: With my new research equipment I can send people from the past into the future!  
  
Mattii: I don't think that's a good Idea!  
  
Washu: Don't talk nonsense! It's a good idea! Now trans port people form Feudal Japan realm 83!  
  
Inu Yasha: Where the hell am I!  
  
Kagome: We're home! Yamii chan?  
  
Mattii: Kon'ni!  
  
Kagome: Sota? Doko?  
  
Mattii: Koko!  
  
Kagome: Ah, mina, this way!  
  
Miroku stayed behind  
  
Sango: Miroku?  
  
Miroku: Go on ahead, I'll be there!  
  
Shippou: Suit yourself.  
  
Miroku: **tap** Yamii-chan? Will you be the one to please bear my child if I fail?  
  
Mattii: Not this again!  
  
Yamato: Get you hands off her!  
  
Miroku: She's not Sailor Sky you know!  
  
Shigure: High school girls, High school girls, one two three, high school girls!  
  
Mattii: Onee- san!  
  
Miroku: Who are you?  
  
Shigure: I'm Yamii-chan's older brother! You?  
  
Miroku: I'm Miroku, I'm going to be the new bearer of Yamii-chan's new child!  
  
Yamato: Oi!  
  
Shigure: But, I thought, Yamato was her boyfriend?  
  
Miroku: Yamato's got Sailor Sky as his girlfriend  
  
Shigure: Didn't you know that Sailor Sky is Mattii!  
  
Mattii: Hatori-san Mondai!! Shigure's met Miroku! 


	2. Chapter Two

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters!  
  
{Previously:  
  
Miroku: Who are you?  
  
Shigure: I'm Yamii-chan's older brother, Sohma Shigure! You?  
  
Miroku: I'm Miroku! I'm going to be the new bearer of Yamii-chan's new child!  
  
Yamato: Oi!  
  
Shigure: But, I thought, Yamato was her boyfriend?  
  
Miroku: Yamato's got Sailor Sky as his girlfriend!  
  
Shigure: Didn't you know that Sailor Sky is Mattii!  
  
Mattii: Hatori-san Mondai!! Shigure's met Miroku!}  
~=If Shigure and Miroku met: Chapter Two=~  
  
Hatori: I got here as fast as I could run from the Sohma house all the way here! So what's the trouble?  
  
Mattii: See, over there? Miroku-san, a legacy from the past has come thanks to Washu, and he and Onii-san are going all over town together, doing something very weird! Miroku-san is looking for someone to bear his first child, if he is to fail his mission. Trying to kill Naraku- san. Onii-san went off to find women... but for some reason, they snuck out if this place and told me what they were going to do! Hentai ne?  
  
Hatori: Hentai, hai! Shigure? Miroku? What's wrong with them going outside?  
  
Mattii: You didn't hear a word I just said, now did you?  
  
Hatori: What? Did you say something?  
  
Mattii: What are you looking at?  
  
Hatori points at a guy with his hair looking like an old lady's, with the figure of a man and a red puffy hakama. Also, Cat-dog-like ears.  
  
Mattii: You are probably wondering who that man is and those other people? Ne?  
  
Hatori: Hai, dare da?  
  
Mattii: Inu-Yasha desu!  
  
Hatori: Inu-Yasha? Dog... demon, ne?  
  
Mattii: Hai! Can you stop them Hatori-san?  
  
Hatori: Hai! I'll be doin' that right now?  
  
Mattii: Hai!  
  
Hatori: As soon as I meet this old man!  
  
Mattii: Hatori-san!  
  
Mattii fell on the floor as Hatori went to go talk to Inu-Yasha. Yamato came by to pick her up off the floor.  
  
Yamato: Yamii-chan? Are you okay? I saw that you fell down and uh... are you okay?  
  
Mattii: Hai, hai! It's just I tripped over this!  
  
Mattii tripped on Duo's new rubber duck.  
  
Duo: Gomen, Yamii-chan! I was just playing with my new duckie here and Trowa threw it over here! **Blows raspberries at Trowa**  
  
Trowa: I didn't do it! Wu fei did!  
  
Wu fei: OI!  
  
Mattii walked over to Trowa, looked in his eyes and put her finger on Trowa's head. Mattii was reading his mind. Mattii stomped on Trowa's foot. (Disclaimer: Gomen Trowa fans! I didn't want to do this! I'm talking to you Amy Issac!)  
  
Trowa: Oww! What did you do that for?  
  
Mattii: You lied and you threw Duo's duckie! I'm appalled! How could you! (Sarcastically) I'll never forgive you!  
  
Trowa: Doozo, Hime no Sora shoshite Unmei desu!  
  
Mattii: On one condition!  
  
Trowa: What's that?  
  
Mattii: Never do that and if you need someone to open up to you can open up to anyone! You've been hiding things in for a while now, and I can help you! You're human, I'm human... maybe not fully human but, I'm Jurian and Sayian and other stuff, but what I'm trying to say is you can open up to anyone here and we'll help you, just try not to open up to Heero! The last time I did that Heero just said, "You must kill to complete your mission!" And laughed like a maniac!  
  
Trowa: Can I open up to you now?  
  
Mattii: Tell me, what you need to open up to me about?  
  
Trowa: Will you help me?  
  
Mattii: With what?  
  
Trowa walked up to Mattii and whispered into her ear.  
  
Mattii: No way!  
  
Trowa: Yes way!  
  
Mattii: I'm onto it! Anata Chikan!  
  
Trowa: Hai, Chikan? Duo!  
  
Duo ran away to his room so he can play with his new rubber duckie.  
  
Yamato: Why are we following him?  
  
Mattii: You'll see!  
  
Trowa: Look!  
  
Mattii: Onii-san!  
  
Yamato: Miroku?  
  
Mattii started to scream.  
  
Inu-Yasha heard the wail of Mattii. He and the others ran to where they were at, in front of the Tenchi floor.  
  
Inu-Yasha: What the hell was that screaming about?  
  
Sango: Miroku? Nan anata tsukuru desu ka!  
  
Shigure just laughed even harder and fell on the ground.  
  
Mattii: Onii-san, daijoobu desu ka?  
  
Shigure: Hai, I'm fine.  
  
Momiji came running into the floor, wondering what all the commotion was.  
  
Momiji: Oh! Shi-chan! Nan anata tsukuru desu ka! Watashi no hanasu!  
  
Momiji ran off to tell every Sohma and Tohru what Shigure was doing. Everyone came running upstairs.  
  
Everyone: Shigure!!!!!!!!  
  
Shigure just laughed even harder.  
  
Mattii: That's it Onii-san! You're coming with me! Anata Chikan!  
  
Mattii and Juki tried to dragged Shigure to his room.  
  
Mattii screamed.  
  
Juki: You've got to clam down, Onii-san!  
  
Shigure only laughed even harder.  
  
{Translations: Onii-san~ Older brother- in a respective way! Hentai- Strange Hakama~ Loose Japanese trousers; pleated skirt Anata Chikan! ~ You Pervert! Ne? ~ Okay? Ne! ~ Okay! Hai~ Yes! Dare da? ~ Who is that? Inu-Yasha desu! ~ This is Mr. Inu-Yasha! Gomen~ Sorry! OI! ~ Hey- only used by men! Doozo, ~ Please, Hime no Sora shoshite Unmei! ~ Princess of the Sky and Destiny! Nan anata tsukuru desu ka! ~ What are you doing? Daijoobu desu ka? ~ Are you okay? Watashi no hanasu! ~ I'm telling! Anata Chikan! ~ You Pervert!}  
  
Shigure and Miroku are in Tenchi's room watching Ryoko and Ayeka fight over Tenchi and a bowl of rice. Imagine that! Sasami was trying to stop them from fighting.  
  
{Next time:  
  
Mattii was screaming.  
  
Mattii: Let go of me!  
  
Mattii tried to get out of Miroku's grasp.  
  
They dragged him to his room while Miroku was still holding onto Mattii. Shigure was still laughing by the time they got there.  
  
Mattii: Miroku Let go of me! Onii-san! You have to stop laughing!  
  
Juki: Onii-san! Please stop laughing!  
  
Shigure only laughed even harder.  
  
Miroku was still hanging onto Mattii  
  
Momiji came into Shigure's room and tried to help.  
  
Momiji: Shi-chan! Let go! Anata Chikan! Kyo-kun! Yuki-kun! Hatori! Help anyone!  
  
Shigure laughed even harder when he saw Momiji come into the room.  
  
Mattii: Momiji-san? Why are you wearing that? Let go of me Miroku!  
  
Mattii was pounding Miroku's head.  
  
Momiji: My mom picked this out for me!  
  
Momiji started to twirl around in his little outfit.  
  
Shigure ...(this is predictable he'll laugh even harder)  
  
Mattii: Onii-san will you please stop laughing! Juki-san! Help!  
  
Juki helped to get Miroku off Mattii.  
  
Shigure again ...(this is predictable he'll laugh even harder)  
  
Mattii started to cry. Juki started to cry too. Shigure stopped laughing. Miroku was staring at the family.  
  
Shigure: Oh no! I made them cry! Now I'm going to cry!  
  
Miroku: Me too! Waahh!!  
  
Shigure started to cry. Miroku was crying too.  
  
Everyone heard they're crying and came to the rescue. Everyone was surprised.} 


	3. Chapter Three

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters!  
  
~=Chapter Three: If Shigure met Miroku! =~  
  
Mattii was screaming.  
  
Mattii: Let go of me!  
  
Mattii tried to get out of Miroku's grasp.  
  
They dragged Shigure to his room while Miroku was still holding onto Mattii. Shigure was still laughing by the time they got there.  
  
Mattii: Miroku Let go of me! Onii-san! You have to stop laughing!  
  
Juki: Onii-san! Please stop laughing!  
  
Shigure only laughed even harder.  
  
Miroku was still hanging onto Mattii.  
  
Momiji came into Shigure's room and tried to help.  
  
Momiji: Shi-chan! Let go! Anata Chikan! Kyo-kun! Yuki-kun! Ha'-san! Help anyone!  
  
Shigure laughed even harder when he saw Momiji come into the room.  
  
Mattii: Momiji-san? Why are you wearing that? Let go of me, Miroku!  
  
Mattii was pounding Miroku's head.  
  
Momiji: Ha'-san picked this out for me!  
  
Momiji started to twirl around in his little outfit, which was a dress.  
  
Shigure ...(this is predictable he'll laugh even harder)  
  
Mattii: Onii-san will you please stop laughing! Juki-san! Help me!  
  
Juki helped to get Miroku off Mattii.  
  
Shigure again ...(this is predictable he'll laugh even harder)  
  
Mattii started to cry. Juki started to cry too. Shigure stopped laughing. Miroku was staring at the family.  
  
Shigure: Oh no! I made them cry! Now I'm going to cry!  
  
Miroku: Me too! Waahh!!  
  
Shigure started to cry. Miroku was crying too.  
  
Everyone heard they're crying and came to the rescue. Everyone was surprised.  
  
Tenchi: Why are you all crying? Tenchi's eyebrows went up in confusion.  
  
Shigure: I don't know! Shigure had a river of tears coming out of his eyes.  
  
Kyo: They're weirder than ever! I'm going barf! Kyo, who was right next to Honda Tohru, was making noises that he was about to barf and he puffed up his face with the milk carton he held for quite awhile. Tohru laughed. Yuki smiled a bit. Kyo laughed with her. The Yuki joined in.  
  
Tohru: Sohma-kun, that wasn't so bad now was it?  
  
Yuki: No, no, it wasn't.  
  
Inu-Yasha: Why's Miroku crying?  
  
Kagome: Miroku is crying?  
  
Sango: Why?  
  
Shippou: What a baby!  
  
A big **POOF** came out of nowhere and three people came out.  
  
Naraku: I'll get you Inu-Yasha with this teacup!!! (Dramatic music)  
  
Kikiyo: I will avenge my death! I'll get you Naraku and send you to hell! (Dramatic music again)  
  
Kohaku: I want cookies! And Milk! (Dramatic music again, again)  
  
Sango: Is that really my brother? He seems happier and kinda stupid. (Dramatic music again, again, again)  
  
Shippou: Eh? Where's that music coming from? (Dramatic music again, again, again, again)  
  
Kagome: That's gotta stop! (Dramatic music again, again, again, again, again)  
  
Inu-Yasha: It's hurting my ears! (Dramatic music again, again, again, again, again, again)  
  
Yamato: What do we do! (Dramatic music again, again, again, again, again, again, again. Also running around in circles)  
  
Washu came in laughing.  
  
Taichi: What are you laughing for? (Dramatic music again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again)  
  
Washu turned of the Dramatic Music Machine. (Dramatic music again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again)  
  
Miroku, Shigure, Juki and Mattii are still crying.  
  
Sora: What do we do with these crybabies?  
  
Ryoko: Let's slap them! It'll wake them up!  
  
Tenchi's cracking voice: RYOKO!  
  
Sasami: Tenchi-san sounded like a bird, Onee-chan!  
  
Ayeka: Your right, Sasami!  
  
Mihoshi: Ha ha! You're right!  
  
Kione: How right you are! Now Mihoshi, get to work!  
  
Mihoshi: Right!  
  
Yamato: Yamii-chan! Stop crying, please!  
  
Mattii only cried louder.  
  
Yamato: Now, your making me wanna cry!  
  
Yamato started to cry.  
  
Taichi, Sora, Joe, Koushiro, Mimi, Takeru, Hikari, Daisuke, and the other digidestends started to cry too.  
  
Them: WWAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!  
  
Inu-Yasha: They're crying is hurting my ears more than that machine that Washy made!  
  
Washu: It's Ms. Washu to you now!  
  
Inu-Yasha: Fine, you old hag!  
  
Washu: I'm the greatest scientist in the universe and you should grovel before my feet!  
  
Inu-Yasha: Never!  
  
Washu: I'll use my new machine Cookie machine!  
  
Kagome: Cookie machine?  
  
Sango: Now you can eat your cookies and milk, Kohaku!  
  
Kohaku: Yay! Yatto!  
  
Inu-Yasha: How's this suppose to kill me?  
  
Washu: I don't know! But, I know what will! A Hello Kitty Machine!  
  
Shippou: How cute!  
  
Miroku stops crying.  
  
Miroku: How's that suppose to kill him?  
  
Shigure and the others stop crying too.  
  
Washu: The cuteness of Hello Kitties are so cute that they will burst and rule the world! ... And kill Inu-Yasha! And maybe Inu-Yasha will burst into tears and hug them!  
  
Inu-Yasha: What's a Hello Cat?  
  
Juki, Mattii and Shigure laugh.  
  
Kyo: OI!  
  
Yuki, Tohru, Momiji, Haru, Kagura, Kisa, Hiro, and Ayame burst into tears of laughter.  
  
Inu-Yasha: What's Hello Cat? Kagome!  
  
Kagome laughs. Kagome: It's Hello Kitty! How stupid are you?  
  
Inu-Yasha: Humph! I'm very stupid for your information!  
  
Kagome: Ha! I got you!  
  
Inu-Yasha: Uhg! Hey! Got me what?  
  
Kagome: I got you! You said that one day you'll never admit your stupid! But I proved you wrong! Now lets have some tea!  
  
Inu-Yasha: Oh, fine! Coming?  
  
Shippou: Yup!  
  
Sango: Kohaku and I are coming!  
  
Kohaku: Do we get milk and cookies?  
  
Sango: Uh, yes?  
  
Kohaku: Yay! Whoopee... Goldberg! (Dittomon ~ I say this in school everyday! He! He!)  
  
Shippou: Huh?  
  
Kohaku: Some lady!  
  
Shippou: Oh, okay!  
  
Miroku: I'm staying here!  
  
Kagome: Oh no you're not!  
  
Kagome drags Miroku with them.  
  
**End of Chapter Three! Please Review it! Tell me what you think!**  
  
It's pretty short I know, I'll write the next chapter later okay? Okay!  
  
If you liked this story look for:  
  
The Wild West No One Knew  
  
Into Middle Earth to Find Legolas  
  
The Cliffhanger  
  
The Brain Switcher  
  
Surprises Where ever you go (I think)  
  
Name is Dittomon! Whoopee! ...Goldberg! I'm done! 


End file.
